Commie Climbers

David Burchard Politics Leave a Comment

In 2017, where do all the fit Marxists go? The climbing gym, duh! Why is this great? Because it makes transparent just how silly-minded they truly are.

The climbing gym in town is superb. The staff is so numerous that they trip over one another. There is a fully equipped weight room and climbing training room. There are group climbing and exercise classes. The number of bouldering and top rope routes are more dizzying than Trevor Noah’s attempts at logic and humor. To enjoy this state of the art, clean, filtered water flowing facility, you have to pay $25/day. A top of the line gym will run you somewhere around $10 for a day pass, but a climbing gym is a rarer commodity; and when competition is scarce and demand is high, prices will be high, especially for luxury, novelty hobbies—like rock climbing.

A successful, thriving climbing gym with state of the art equipment is only a reality in a capitalist society. Socialists will be working too hard for too little to have the luxury of the time or money to go to such a place—unless you’re one of the lucky Bernie Sanders types stealing from the masses. Yet go to a crowded climbing gym and count the number of openly identifying socialists. These college educated Marxists spend multiple evenings a week after work to climb pristine artificial rock with the latest iPhones in their pockets. It is pure brilliance. Either they are ignorant and don’t understand economic realities, or they are naive and think that they will be at the top of the racket, rolling in other people’s cash.

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