Tips for the Single Ladies, from CR Wiley

David Burchard Christian Ethics Leave a Comment

These are not my ideas. What follows is a direct quote from Christopher Wiley, author of The Man of the House and The Purloined Boy.

Take this as an advertisement. Have Facebook? If you value godly households and masculinity, befriend this guy and read what he writes.

You’re welcome.


1. Get into the right pond.

2. Learn to drop the hanky in the right place.

3. Give as well as get.

4. Don’t wait.

What’s the right pond? Too many women are in ponds that are primarily filled with feminists–even if they are not feminists themselves. A male feminist makes a poor husband and most traditionally minded women understand this–but they don’t seem to understand that they need to get into another pond in order to attract a masculine man. Generally, these women work in the cubicle farms of large corporations, or in healthcare, or education. The few masculine men you find in those places are generally already taken. All the other men are either in such demand, or they are practically worthless. You must find a pond filled with masculine men. (And no, it is not a singles-bar; or the singles-group at the mega-church–in those places you find either the predator or the Christian version of the practically useless feminist man.)

Learn to drop the hanky. Feminism is all about not needing men (it is an illusion, but let’s just run with it for a moment). Often career-minded women will say to themselves, “The reason men don’t ask me out is because they are intimidated.” Wrong. The reason is masculine men don’t find you attractive–and I’m not talking about physically attractive. A masculine man has a surplus of ability when it comes to traditionally masculine arts. A single man who is masculine has no place to invest the surplus. This is why these men tend to drink a lot or waste time on worthless stuff–they need a household to invest the surplus into. When a woman sends the message–“I don’t need what you’re offering,” he is turned off. He moves on. A traditional women knows that a household is a place for interdependence, not independence. She knows how to receive a man’s gifts. And one of the ways to signal that is by asking for help. Everyone likes to be needed–and this is true for masculine men.

Learn to give as well as get. A masculine man is not looking for “one of the guys” to marry. He’s not interested in competing with his wife. He’s looking for a woman to bring into his life things he can’t do for himself. Like any human being, he likes to be appreciated. A traditional woman gives him things that make his life richer and more complete. Generally he will be at a loss for words–he’ll often express his gratitude by giving things back that come from his strengths. A man doesn’t take a woman’s gifts as a put down (unless he’s a feminist–then he may feel a need to compete with women in the feminine arts). Instead he is grateful (if he is virtuous), and he feels appreciated.

Don’t wait. Here’s the reality: the marriage prospects for men get better as they age, the reverse is true for women. Is it fair? Who cares. It is true. Deal with it. I see a lot of women put things off because they’ve bought the feminist narrative. Then they’re single and childless at 35. they live in a nice apartment with their cats, they drive a nice car, they have a middle-management position in some bureaucracy that could replace them in the blink of an eye. And they’re miserable. Don’t wait.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *