The Aztecs were a noble people. In service to their personal, sophisticated religious preferences, they built a magnificent temple pyramid to Tlaloc, the god of rain and lightning, in the capital city, Tenochtitlan.
Every winter, these noble, indigenous people would lead a parade of small children up Tlaloc’s steps. For some strange reason, the children seemed to always be ungrateful and cry and wail loudly. But don’t worry. That wasn’t a bad thing. Their tears were offerings to Tlaloc. For their tears, Tlaloc would bless the Aztecs with rain.
After slaughtering the children at the top of the pyramid, so that their blood ran hot and bubbly, the children’s carcasses would be arranged in an artistic circle, expectantly ready to receive the rains that were sure to be given.
What a rich culture! It’s such a tragedy that it is no more, and is a reminder to us of the importance of multiculturalism.
Though in past imperialist arrogance we failed to preserve this rich worship of Tlaloc, Western nations, blessed with the rains of progress, have managed to revive the great Canaanite religion of old, the worship of Molech.
Molech demands even more children than Tlaloc because Molech is better. He takes as many as we are willing to give. And he takes from all creeds, classes, and colors, for he is tolerant and does not judge.
We don’t normally drink the blood of the babes bestowed with the honor of being offered to Molech, for he prefers to receive the beverage. In his magnanimity, however, he often allows us to sell parts of the sacrificed babies so that we can continue to fund his temples. He even lets us burn what we cannot sell in order to keep his temples warm.
Though we are multiculturalists, we know we are better than both the original worshipers of Molech and Tlaloc, for we insist on always getting angry when beautiful women hunt animals and post photos of their savage success on social media. It astounds us that any of our number could be so inhumane, and so cold-blooded as to be able to smile with a carcass. The ram just wanted to hop on cliffs. Is life so cheap?
By the grace of Molech, at least Scotland has leaders willing to stop such bloodthirsty wickedness. This vile blonde and her kind won’t be smiling for long. Don’t you worry.
Andy Murray’s mom, Judy, calls such flippant dealing of death, “disgraceful.” And Judy’s a big deal, you know?
Michael Russell, MSP for Argyll and Bute, insists that such pagan savagery, “as a matter of urgency”, must be “stopped immediately.”
Our High Priestess, First Minister of Molechular Satiation Nicola Sturgeon, says that it’s “totally understandable why the images from Islay of dead animals being held up as trophies is so upsetting and offensive to people.” With that insight, we can be sure that justice will be done, and blonde animal murderers will be stopped, at least in Bonnie Scotland.
We must trust our leaders to put a stop to ram-killing, especially if high-powered, assault hunting rifles are used.
Trusting our leaders, we shall press on in our high calling, in the service to our generous and ever-hungry deity, Molech.
Pictured below is a model mother of our great culture, demonstrating that fielty to Molech means real health, and real care for children.